10/4/08


Darkness, tears and pain;.

There, the three things I was well aware of when you said that one painful word... "goodbye."


Tears... I felt the sudden dryness in my throat. My vision begun to blurred as I slowly bowed my head. "goodbye" was the only thing on my mind now. I didn't even bother listening to your pathetic excuse.
Since the begging I had always known it was her. Yet I forced myself blindly. I was blinded by my love for you. I was hoping... believing that... I was the one you would choose...

I made myself believe to the point that I let my guard down for you to see the real me. The real person that I was. I showed it... only to you. You made me believe and live in a dreamland you had created... with all your promises. Do you even know how happy I was whenever you made a promise? Yet now... not one of them come true.

I had loved you far too much to realize the difference between of dreams and reality and it really hurts when reality itself slapped my face.


Pain. I slowly turned my back away from you; away from all the memories. You had given me far too much pain to bear. You know, I already blamed everyone I knew. You, Him and I; I even blamed my friends for not saving me from you,. I blamed everyone, yet the pain still burned inside me.

Anger and pain rolled into one. What had I done to deserve this? Why? WHY! I ran home like a frightened child. I didn't know whom to trust anymore. Am I really unworthy for you?
I compared myself to him. He could sing, dance and act a smart guy and everyone's favorite. BAMM!!! I punched my fist againts the wall Crying like I'd never be okay again... I had realized that.... I AM UNWORTHY.

Darkness. It was pitch black. My hope and my everything was slowly slipping away from me. I really don't know what to do anymore. I hated my life Had I never done anything good? Iwas tired. I was exhausted. I wanted to die. I just fell in love and this was all I got broken, lonely and cold....

1 comment

markjan said...

c saul ay emo!

hahaha!


-mark

October 4, 2008 at 3:10 PM
 


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