Bitter Sweet Memories

I cried myself to sleep last night because I really feel bad about what's happening to me lately... this is not the real Saul. If my memory serves me right I used to be a jolly person, I laugh a lot, I like teasing my friends... but lately parang biglang nag iba ako. Ewan ko kung bakit It's just that I feel that my life is slowly slipping away from me.. you may not understand me... heck I don't even understand myself (sigh..). Someone told me
(ennaesor) that...

"ang sabi mo kahit nagheal na lahat ng scars from your past., the pain still remain..

naisip mo na ba kung baket??

kasi ayaw mong i-let go ang past.. nangyari na yun lahat eh! and it all happened for a reason!!

pano ka tutulungan., iintindihin., at mamahalin ng iba... kung ikaw mismo sa sarili mo, hindi mo yun magawa.."


Tama sya, kaso how? 'Ni hindi ko man lang mabitaw-bitwan yung mga memories na yun kasi it's all I have.. although I know most of my memories aren't that good but when I think of those memories that's the only time I can be with my past friends... the only time I can see them once more kahit sinaktan nila ako in the past. Call me pathetic but I just can't let go kasi wala naman akong good memories na ipapalit sa mga memories that I have right now. How? I think I know how to end this pero I'm gonna need sometime to mend my broken self. I know I'm not really alone... I know there are a handful of souls who really cares for me... And believe me when I say that I really thank them for having the patience trying to convince me that they care and that they love me... hey I just realized that kahit pa paano 'di pala ako nag iisa... Siguro It's time to let go of those bittersweet memories... time to move on.