Waiting for Nothing

"I have to go Saul." these were the last words that came out of her mouth before she left. It's been 3 months now since she left me and ever since I'd always wanted to see her again... always I'd hope that one day she'd come back to me....



It's only 5:00 am when I got out of my bed. My mother saw me going down the stairs, " Where are you going? It's too early!"

" Of course, school. Where else? And I'm late... real late!" I replied.

"It's Saturday, don't you remember?" my mother shouted.

"Oh silly me!" I said, smiled and went to bed again.

I was sitting at the edge of my bed when the phone rang. I rushed to it, hoping it was Pillow. But to my dismay, it was John. He told me that Pillow was here. It seems my heart leaped for joy. I barely heard what John said after.

"Where is she?" I asked

"She's in our school waiting for you!"
After hearing the good news I immediately dressed up and went to school.

I saw her by the gate, " Pillow!" I shouted. I saw her head bow down, I didn't know why. I didn't care anymore,all I knew was that she finally came back.

"Pillow I missed you so much!" I said while hugging her tightly, so tight that she can hardly breath.

"I came here to tell you something" she said

"Tomorrow morning go to my house and I'll tell you what it is." She said.

After that short conversation with her she went to her father inside the car and went home.

I was excited. I was so happy that day. I thought of the things we'd done before, until my mother called me for dinner. After eating I went to bed but something's not right. I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned the whole night thinking of her.. it felt weird.

I woke up early that morning with a big smile in my face.. When I was at their house we sat and she started to talk.

"I will be leaving for America on Monday." she said with teary eyes.

" WHAT!!!! your leaving me again? Why? You just arrived and now this.... why?" I said while gasping for air.

" I'm sorry but theres something wrong." she said while her head bowed down.

"What? is it your studies? Why did you leave me before without even saying goodbye to me? But Pillow...." I hadn't finished what I'm saying when she spoke.

"I left just to forget you. I did everything just to forget you. I had used someone else but something had happened and now.... I'm pregnant."

"What you left me for 3 months and now your here saying that your pregnant! I've waited for so long for you to come back and now I had been so stupid waiting for someone who wasn't even mine?"

"You know, I just don't know why I have to explain to you. And to think your just my ex boyfriend." she said angrily with gloomy eyes.

"Yes I just happened to be your ex boyfriend but I still care for you.. I still love you. My love for you never faded all this time.. your still my one and only you." I said and turned my back.

"Why.. Why.. Why just now. I'd been waiting for you to tell me that somehow you'd still love me and if you say that you did love me why should all of these things have to happen...? She did not say a word. I left with tears in my eyes and anger in my heart....She left a few days after we talked and I realized that when she left me... she brought my heart with her. And now here I am cold, lonely and broken...



*This happened a few years back