1/24/09

Darkness, tears and pain;

There, the three things I was well aware of when you said that one painful word... "goodbye."


Tears... I felt the sudden dryness in my throat. My vision begun to blurred as I slowly bowed my head. "goodbye" was the only thing on my mind now. I didn't even bother listening to your pathetic excuse.
Since the beggining I had always known it was her. Yet I forced myself blindly. I was blinded by my love for you. I was hoping... believing that... I was the one you would choose...

I made myself believe to the point that I let my guard down for you to see the real me. The real person that I was. I showed it... only to you. You made me believe and live in a dreamland you had created... with all your promises. Do you even know how happy I was whenever you made a promise? Yet now... not one of them come true.

I had loved you far too much to realize the difference between of dreams and reality and it really hurts when reality itself slapped my face.


Pain. I slowly turned my back away from you; away from all the memories. You had given me far too much pain to bear. You know, I already blamed everyone I knew. You, Him and I; I even blamed my friends for not saving me from you,. I blamed everyone, yet the pain still burned inside me.

Anger and pain rolled into one. What had I done to deserve this? Why? WHY! I ran home like a frightened child. I didn't know whom to trust anymore. Am I really unworthy for you?
I compared myself to him. He could sing, dance and act a smart guy and everyone's favorite. BAMM!!! I punched my fist against the wall Crying like I'd never be okay again... I had realized that.... I AM UNWORTHY.

Darkness. It was pitch black. My hope and my everything was slowly slipping away from me. I really don't know what to do anymore. I hated my life Had I never done anything good? Iwas tired. I was exhausted. I wanted to die. I just fell in love and this was all I got broken, lonely and cold....



*this got nothing to do with my girlfriend.... sinulat ko lang yung feeling ng isang taong niloloko ng kanyang minamahal.... may tinamaan ba?

16 comments:

PaJAY said...

di na ako mag rereact pareng Saul...di naman pala tungkol sa inyo ng mahal mo to e...lolz..

buti na lang hindi..kala ko hiwalay na kayo..(katok sa pader 3x)..lolz..

kung may kakilala kang dinanas to..pakilala mo at kakausapin ko...lolz...

January 24, 2009 at 11:24 PM
cyndirellaz said...

oo nga kala ko may prob ka na naman.. ^^ naranasan ko na ang three words na yan pero now im doing fine ^^

January 25, 2009 at 1:33 AM
kosa said...

bahagi na din siguri ng buhay!

di ko din alam ang susunod na sasabihin ko...na maling akala din ako tulad nila prof at cyndi..

sige kitakits nalang...

January 25, 2009 at 1:40 AM
saul krisna said...

hahahahaha pasensya na if medyo pang asar yung post ko... hahahaha affected lang ako sa kaibigan ko.... iniwan kasi siya ng bf niya..... loko yung guy... huhuntingin ko nga yung lalake eh....(lolz)

January 25, 2009 at 10:05 AM
mimi said...

hey there. :)
thanks for dropping my site.
i`m good now. hehe that post was like one-two weeks agoo.. hehe
ohh gee good writer? hehe never seen that coming. >< hehe thanks though. :)
wanna link ex?

January 25, 2009 at 12:42 PM
Chazzel_Sherwin said...

hello, saul.

grabe napakasad naman ng theme. :(

alam mo, ang maganda din yung title.

gusto ko tuloy magpost ng mga essays and poems din sa blog ko. mahilig 'din kase ako gumawa ng mga ganyan.

akala ko ba, hindi ka na magpopost ng mga malulungkot na tema? kase obvious naman na in love na in love ka sa iyong honey no? :)

January 25, 2009 at 2:31 PM
purpleworm said...

Grabe bro akala ko kayo yun! Buti nlng hindi. Nag-worry nmn ako.
Best Wishes sa inyo ni gf.
Stay inlove! =)

January 25, 2009 at 3:56 PM
Amorgatory said...

THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE AND THE WOUND GETS DEEPER AND DEEPER EACH DAY..UN LANG..BUT EVENTUALY IT WOULD END SOON BEFORE YOU KNEW IT....

January 25, 2009 at 9:52 PM
Amorgatory said...

@pjay yan idol pjay kkausapin mow nnman ha, at mwewendang nnman yang lablaf mow hahahah

January 25, 2009 at 9:53 PM
PaJAY said...

@AMOR: tae ka aydol!...lol...di rin naman sinabi ni pareng Saul kung sino ang kaibigan nya e kaya wala akong kakausapin...lolz...

January 26, 2009 at 1:01 AM
michy said...

you've beautifully described in words how unbearably painful it is to have your heart broken and you know this reminds me of my first ever major heartbreak...my ex asked me how I was doing and I told him:

"You really wanna know how I'm doing? I have not only hit rock bottom because there's rock bottom, under it a pile of crap, then under it....is me"

January 26, 2009 at 10:55 AM
Mayyang said...

ay! all i thought you have a problem with your girlfriend...

hmmmm... i always say that three words pero after a days or weeks.. nagkakabalikan din kami...cguro ganun talaga ang love..hehe

*just give advice to ur friend na, hayaan nya na yung guy.. he's not worthy pag ganun..*sori sa word ko..nasaktan din kasi ako e..

January 27, 2009 at 4:45 PM
saul krisna said...

salmat sa mga nag commento mi amiga mi amigo.... hahahah ayus yun.... akala nyo kami na yung nag kahiwalay ng gdf koh noh?


(lolz)

January 27, 2009 at 7:44 PM
Amorgatory said...

@pjay idol wag kanang humirit baka may maooff nanman na fon hahahah..

January 27, 2009 at 10:56 PM

First of, thought you're a she, but then maling akala pala ko..

Not an emo? PAng emo ang post mo na toh, pero one thing I'd have to say - You're not unworthy, ok lang ang ganyang emo moments pero you've got to move on and leave all your pains behind.. You deserve someone better if she's not really the one for you..

Hmm, Anu bang alam ko sa mga to?, hehe..

cheers Saul, you'll be fine.

January 29, 2009 at 12:59 AM
saul krisna said...

@ dylan

musta na? mukhang magaling kang mag payo ah... hahahaha

January 29, 2009 at 6:32 PM
 


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