11/28/08

Have you ever been out of placed? Whether sa school, sa family occasions, sa friends? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dahilan ng pag ka out of placed mo pero I can only say that I too have been left out most of the time, I have been dished out so many times that my heart is kinda immune to that awful feeling... Pero bakit ganon? Bakit parang 'di ko pa rin ma-master yung feeling of being left out or being unwanted? Mahirap kasing i-deal yung mga ganong mga feelings. I'm sorry if I'm not making any point in here, medyo sobrang daming pangyayari ang dumadating sa akin lately at lahat yun parang 'di ko na kayang i-contain... Siguro nag tataka kung anong ka dramahan na naman itong sinasabi ko... Oo siguro nga nag dadrama ako but what can I do? Actually masarap sanang i-deal itong mga garbage feelings na ito if theres someone na tutulong sa iyo... OH 'WAG KANG MAG RE-REACT!!! I really appreciate the things that you do for me... wether mapa kaibigan man kita, churchmates or LOVE... I really appreciate your help... Gusto ko lang ilabas itong sama ng loob ko. I really feel damn alone right now! The only thing that kept me from doing stuffs na ikakasakit ko or ikamamatay ko ay yung love mo... yes you read it right... yung LOVE mo!!! I really appreciate the way you treat me... how you love me gives me strength para 'di ako tuluyang ma-depress.

I hate being alone although I know that there are a handful of souls na nag sasabing mahal nila ako and they truly care and I thank you for that. I just wished I have somebody na pwede kong sandalan pag tila ba nanghihina na ako, may mag papakalma sa akin habang pilit kong binabaha ang bahay namin sa mga luha ko, may babatok sa akin para magising ako sa bangungot na ito... sana nga bangungot lang ito pero sad to say... I'm not deaming... This is really happening to me... (poor me).

alam mo actually nag bago na ako nitong lagay na ito... sati kasi pag nalulungkot ako at nag durugo ang puso ko... I usually cut myself until ma-over come nung sugat ko yung pain ng heart ko... I'm happy to say na hindi na ako ganun... I finally found a reason kasi to stop hurting myself... pero now that I'm feeling blue, torn and left out parang unti-unting bumabalik yung dati kong ways... I'm scared kasi parang I'm starting to feel all alone again... although I know that I shouldn't feel that way kasi nga I have those people that are trying so hard to fill me up with their love and of course I have her... Haaayy! Ang gulo ko talaga noh? Sorry if medyo mahaba itong article ko... Next time na may makita kang friend na nag sisimulang ma-out of place sa group niyo... try mong kausapin siya... maybe ikaw lang pala ang hinihintay niya... you could really make a difference by showing them that they are not alone... that they have you as their friend... maybe you could even save them from certain death... They are waiting for you... lapitan mo na siya and reach out...

2 comments:

JoShMaRie said...

my gosh natakot ako sayo dun s apart na kinacut mo ang sarili mo until maovercome ng pain ng sugat ang pain ng heart mo. aw!

isa lang ang solusyon jan. PRAY. salamat sa pagdaan sa blog ko. balik ka ulet.

November 29, 2008 at 10:02 AM
Dhianz said...

d2 ren palah si josha sa koment box moh...

eniweiz...hmmmmzz... so yeah second d' motion akoh on what josha said... pray... and si God sya ang puwede mong sandalan anytime...24/7 He's there... and He's all ears sau... and He's willing to carry the burdens for you.... juz let Him... =)

and yeah naranasan koh na ren yan sa buhay koh ilang beses den akong na feel left out... nde kah nag-iisa sa mundo... nd yeah kakaibang feeling... graveh... hirap.... pero si God lang tlgah ang nagpapalakas nang loob koh... well sometimes i say kung feel left out akoh don eh i don't belong there... and i juz think of those people na who really cares for me and who loves me for who i am... naks... hehe... nd yeah syempre ang akin family, friends, love ones and syempre si God...

kung kukuwento koh sau buhay koh sige baka bigla ka reng mapa-emo... hehe... trust Him lang...

nd yeah akoh ang taong nde feel nagle-left out nang ibang tao... kc i know how it feels too...hinirit koh lang...hehe...and also yeah hwag moh nang gawin na saktan ang sarili moh uletz.... at least through diz blog eh nalalabas moh ang tunay mong nararamdaman...

sana magawa koh ren yan... nagho-hold back den akoh sa mga ipopost koh... feeling koh saken may limitation ang puwedeng i-share... masikreto den kc akong tao... but maybe one day i'll drink sprite at magpapakatotoo sa blogosphere...hehe.. =)eniweiz.. daz all for now...

ingatz kah.... prayers lang... trust Him... GODBLESS! -di

November 29, 2008 at 6:39 PM
 


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