5/17/08



It was March 20, 2005 when I 1st saw her in our church. Back then she was just a freshman in ehr school (TUMCS). I don't know how we first became friends, all I know is that we somehow clicked. She would always made me smile even though sometimes I find it hard to smile whenever i'm on my lowest point of my life. She would always listen to me when others don't.... She would always give me reasons to live when life turns it's back on me...God knows how many times did this girl saved me.... She's my very first friend in our church that's why she's very dear to me.

Three years had passed and still she hadn't changed a bit. I'm eternally grateful to her for being such a wonderful friend to me. I will never forget her, Her kindess will be forever be etched in my heart...

She will always be a part of me....








5/16/08


Well like most authors i am one who do not believe in love at first sight untill i experienced it myself...It all started like this, I was with a few friends at McDonalds, after my lecture from school, we were chatting and laughing at some stupid stories that one of my friends told...Just then, a group of girls come and took their seats, there was this girl, quite outstanding for that striking red top she was wearing and she had this sweet smile...Then, while they were at the counter, ordering their food, i noticed something, they all had a disability, they could not talk... But, this was not considered a disability to me, i walked up to them, and ask for her number, well, she was suprised?But, she eventually gave me her address and her name is Elaine, she does not have a phone at home and there was no possibility to talk to her...After a few days, i sent her a letter, asking her out on a date the following Saturday. Whether she agreed to the date or was it rejected, i could not tell for i do not know!We were supposed to meet at the Lido cinema to catch a movie, i waited for around 5mins then, she appeared. She was wearing that same smile that caught me..In the cinema, we saw he show "Ice Age." In order to communicate, i needed to get a pen and paper... I asked her about how she felt about me.. she told me she was very happy, but at the same time, she was worried as she could not define whether my love was out of sympathy or was it from my heart.From that moment, i have been asking myself the question, untill a month later after my exams, i finally made up my mind, i was really in love with her, not for her disability that i sympathize, not for that she is pretty, but for the fact that i love her... i went to her home, which made her quite suprised, i pulled her out of her home and ran to the park in font of her block of flats, i looked at her and wrote to her how i felt, she looked at my with those big black eyes, those that could take your soul away if you were you stare at it for a long time. She took the pen and wrote this sentence,"I love you too, but now that i am assured that you love me for wat i am and not out of sympathy, i feel that i will not regret the decision.." Now, we have been together for two years and althoguh we have not planned to get married, i have never once quarrel with her, not even on paper and i never will...







She was a simple girl who happen to fell in love to a preacher. she was young then, and her preacher man was only a student studying preaching. She didin't tell anybody about her feelings. And he started to like him because of a dream.one night, she dreamed of a long white sandy beach, where she can see herself scribbling something on the sand. she was writing the name of the man she love. at first it was blurry, but it was just like in the movies were she saw her man walking slowly, smiling heartily to her, and it happen to be their preacher.she wondered why she dreamed of him. then day by day, as she saw him in church... slowly, she fell for him. there are lot of good things she saw in him.when he is down, all she wanted is to take all his pain, but she cannot do it.she was afraid to tell him how she feels, of how she cares for him. the preacher doesn't know also that there's somoene who is deeply concern for him, because for him, she was just a churchmate.she was contented just staring at him from afar. receiving one hello, or hi, or good day sister! he doesn't know how she really feels for him...then they beacme friends. she was very happy. oh, how she cherish their laughters and stories. still, she is just a churchmate to him. the he graduated, it was nearly time for him to go to another church... oh, how sad she became.. thinking of it is very painful indeed! the days drew nearer, she started avoiding him, it would be easier to part this way. her preacher wondered why she became cold to him... he didn't ask further questions....then he left...she remained alone...all she had pray for had flown away. years passed... she almost forgot about him. but God is really Great to her. when she felt that there's no hope was coming, all of sudden good news came.one day.. a telegram came... it was from her parents from the city asking her to visit them. she wondered why...she went there and to her surprise.. she didn't know her parents can do this to her, they have arranged her marriage. her heart sagging with pain due to her parents decision and due to the loneliness she feels as she think of her preacher.. she agreed. but is this a miracle... she thought all the angels have all come down from heavens! she saw her preacher man in th church... looking very handsomely in grayish suit. her eyes filled with tears...she approached him... "aren't you our preacher back in the village?""yes" his answer as cold as ice. there was fury in his eyes, she didn't know why.then it was like a hurricane, it happens all of a sudden. the man she thought would be preaching the sermons on her wedding was the very groom of that special day.it was like having a heart attack. but she remained calm.she didn't know what to do, or how did it happen. all she knows is that bells are already ringing, the wedding is over. still her groom was very distant, still as cold as ice..she was afraid to ask,although she already knows the answers. but still, she is confuse...was it, he just hated her, or was it, he hated the set-up marriage?she summon all her strength...still teary eyed... not with happiness but with pain.. she asked him..."why are you so cold?""why ask?" he said in a sarcastic voice."it's just... you seem to change a lot..." she was crying"no... not really" he was not looking at her."then why are you mad at me""I'm not...""then why did you agree to marry me..." she was busrting in so much pain"our parents arrange us, didn't they?" the cold wind rush to their stone cold bodies...."then why did you come... if you didn't want to marry me... why did you come! oh this hurts a lot." she was shaking with fury, her kind face was changed into a hopeless cry baby."why did you became so cold to me before i go away from the village?" he said it without looking at her.she was too awestruck..."i left without even talking to you... you are the one who became distant...not me..." he said, his voice trembling with sadness.she didn't know what to say..."I did that... because... coz it will be very painful for me if i stay as your cheerful churchmate, when in fact..." she cannot continue... what is this man saying?"why is that..." he said patiently"look, don't change the subject... why are you so mean to me... may be that's one of the reasons why i avoided you before you leave!"" i think not..""you know nothing... you know nothing from the very beginning... you don't know how i feel... if you're lost, if you're in pain... if you don't greet me for just a day... all you know is that i'm your funny churchmate! but still... i'm always there for you... and you don't even know that i wept when you left... that i almost called all the angels in the heavens just to bring you back to me..." she was sobbing hysterically... still he stand there like a lifelss rock, looking at her blankly."why did you go to this wedding, when i know... that you don't want it... when you know... that you don't want to marry me..." tears was pouring heavily from her eyes, she didn't lift her head... she was afraid to look at his reactions after what she had said."who told you i don't want to come to this wedding..." his voice was heavy and cruel... she lifted her face to face her fears... but it wasn't as she expected..."i will not go here... if i don't want to marry you myself...." his hard face broke into a loving smile....






I met a wonderful, wonderful man from Oregon. We were online chatting along with other christian folks in Yahoo! chat line. We started out as friends, then we wanted to know more and more about eachother. We both shared everything...and it turned out we both have a lot in common. There where nothing that are different about us except as male and female.In the mean time...we decided to exchange phone numbers and photos. The first time I talked with Scott, my ex (now my friend) scared the daylight out of me...at the same time...scared the daylight out of Scott...poor guy! LOL!! Scott had no idea where I live except my home town or otherwise he would have phoned 911...Ever since that night...I felt that we were meant for eachother...with all that we have in common...I just knew we were meant to be together. It was so weird at first...meeting someone off the computer and saying "Ilove you". But...I had a vacation coming and wanted to meet Scott. Boy...I was so excited to meet him in person...but I was scared to death. As soon as I arrived to Oregon...I wanted to die from excitement...but I'm glad I didn't. Scott is the most wonderful man I have ever met. I spent the entire week with him and he was so good to me. I have known Scott for a year...just recently...he had proposed to me to marry him and I had accepted his marriage proposal. I don't think I can go a day without Scott and yes...Scott felt the same way. Now...our wedding day is Sept 15, 2001!!! We both cannot wait for this big day to arrive!!!I want you all to know one thing...BE CAREFUL WHO YOU MEET and ask a lot of questions about your online lover. You may not have met him or her in person yet...but I ask that all of you that are dating online to be extra careful. I know I was really careful...I wouldnt give anyone my personal information till I get to know this person. That is how I met Scott...a wonderful wonderful man

I FIRST MET RICH WHEN I WENT INTO WORK ONE DAY I WALKED IN THE BACK SO THE BOSS WOULDNT SEE ME AND WHEN I LOOKED AT THE BAR TO SEE WHO WAS IN THERE HE WAS STANDING THERE DOING HIS COCKTAIL TRICKS WITH HIS SHIRT UNDONE HALF WAY LOOKING REALLY FIT.SO I WENT INTO THE KICHEN AND ASKED ONE OF THE OTHER GIRLS WHO HE WAS,SHE SAID HE WAS THE NEW BARMAN.SO I WENT OVER TO SAY HI WE GOT TALKING AND OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS WE REALLY GOT ON AND STARTED FLIRTING WHEN NO-ONE WAS LOOKING.THEN ONE NIGHT OUT OF THE BLUE JUST AS I WAS GETTING MY JACKET.HE GRABBED MY ARM AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO GO FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING 2MOZ.I SAID YEAH AND WE WOUNLD TALK ABOUT IT IN THE MORNING AT WORKI WENT IN THE NEXT DAY BUT HE WERENT THERE HIS SHIFT HAD BEEN CHANGED AND HE WAS DOING NIGHTIME I WAS A BIT ANNONYED BUT I JUST THOUGHT THAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN A JOKE.BUT THEN I WAS TAKING SOME FOOD OUT I NOTICED HE WAS SITTING AT A TABLE WITH A PINT.HE LOOKED AT ME AND SMILED.I WAS SO HAPPY I ONLY HAD BOUT HALF HOUR LEFT AND I HEARD HIM SAY TO IAN THAT HE WAS GOING TO GO UP THE SHOP AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT SO I WAITED TILL HE HAD GONE TO THE TOILET THEN MADE IT LOOK LIKE I WAS GOING TO AND ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED ME TO GO UP THE SHOP FOR HIM AS I WAS FINNSHING IN 10 MINUTES.BUT HE JUST SAID NO IL WALK UP WITH YOU.I WAS SO HAPPY WE WALKED UP THE SHOP TALKING AND FLIRTING THEN AS WE GOT TO THE TOP OF THE ROAD HE SAID HE HAD TO GO HOME AND HAVE A SHOWER BEFORE WORK.WE WERE ON THE CORNER FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES AND HE KEPT SAYING HE WAS GOING TO GO.THEN HE ASKED WHAT I WAS GOING THE NEXT NIGHT I SAID NOTHING SO HE ASKED IF I WANTED TO GO OUT SOMEWHERE OF CORSE I SAID YES THEN HE SAID HE WOULD SEE ME 2MOZ AND TURNED TO WALK AWAY.I JUST STOOD THERE DRIFTING AWAY TO HEAVEN.THEN HE TURNED BACK ROUND AND KISSED ME IT WAS SO SOFT AND PASSIONATE.THEN ALL HE SAID WAS IL SEE YOU 2MORROW AND WALKED AWAY THAT WAS 8 MONTHS AGO ALOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THAT DAY BUT WE ARE STILL TOGETHER.IAM MOING IN WITH HIM IN A MONTH MOVING OUT OF MY MUMS YOU WILL PROBALY SAY IAM STUPID AND I WILL GET HURT CAUSE IAM ONLY 15 AND HE IS 23 BUT YOU CANT HELP WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH.

September 15, 2001, is a date I will never forget. It was a Saturday morning and I started a game of canasta on-line as I did every weekend morning. The player sitting directly after me kept taking the pile so I started teasing him. I asked some general questions such as where he was from, how old he was, and if he was married. His response to the marriage question was, "Why are you iterested?" And the rest is history! We talked on the internet that Saturday and Sunday and ended up talking on the telephone that week. I ran up three phone cards in a week's time so I got a cell phone with free long distance to keep the conversations going. We talked until 2:00 or 3:00 every morning. I was so tired, yet so excited at the same time. I just could not tear myself away from him. I was hanging on every word he said. He made me laugh, he made my cry, and he made me fall in love with him. I was going through the most difficult time in my life when I met him. I was not happy with my marriage and had not been for many years. I talked to several people about trying to get out, but I could never find the courage to do so. That is where my angel stepped in. He told me his experiences with his divorce, he let me cry on his shoulder, and stayed up with me until I was able to go to sleep. He is my angel and I thank God that I found him because he has changed my life forever. We now talk on the phone several times a day, e-mail each other, and send letters and cards through the mail. Hopefully we will meet soon, but I have a feeling once we meet in person one of us will not be going back home.
Marshall and I had met in an msn community. We had chatted and become really good friends. After the community had closed down we started up our own putting hours of work into it every night, but as time went on we started talking more and more and stoped working (it never did get done lol) then one night I was very depressed and I started to confide in Marshall telling him things I had never told anyone before. He was just an angel helping me and talking to me to calm me down and cheer me up. Then a few days later he told me that he didn't know how but he had really started to like me. At first I didn't know what to do I was awhere that someone else cared for me too, but after a few days I couldn't deny that I felt the same for him. I finnally told him and we've been together ever since. We're definatly haveing a few problems one of which being a slight age difference of 4 years, another being we're both very stubborn, but we plan to meet at christmas time and move in together in a few years. I'm so happy we've found eachother and I truely believe we were ment to be!


One night I was online and went in chat room to talk to a few friends. I started to talk to a guy and was interested in just chatting to him. We made a date to talk online at 6pm my time and 3pm his time. Days of chatting together went by, and I gave him my phone number and asked him for his. By then we became good friends and talked every night after work. I would wait for him to come on the buddy list, and when he did I would get so nervous and could not wait until the instant message came. I finally called him even though he said he was not ready for me to call because he was shy. He got over the shyness and started calling me all the time. I would be his alarm clock and call him up for work and wake him with my voice. When I came home from work, Shane would be on his lunch break and would come home to talk to me online during his lunch. He also sent me candy by overnight mail. I knew then that we both knew we were becoming more then just friends. It was love we were feeling, and we had not even met yet! I set a time for us to met, I felt like I needed to me him face to face and be in his arms, and he felt the same. I set up a fight for me to fly from NY to WA. It was a long flight! After 5 hours the moment came. The plane landed and I was going to meet him my soul mate, my best friend. I got off the plane and he was standing there waiting for me with roses and candy. He looked even better then I could have imagined. I was in love when I walked up to him. I gave him a big hug, still not believing it. I was in the arms of the man I loved, and it felt like a dream come true. We then spent time together, went out to dinner and saw the space needle and the sites. All too soon it came time for me to go back home. Shane took me to the airport and came in carried my bags like he did when I met him. We stood at the gate just looking in each other’s eyes, and I kissed him and I said, “I love you.” I kissed him goodbye and saw tears in his eyes, I knew then that Shane loved me too. I felt the connection like I never did before with anyone. I got back to New York and I continued to talk to him. We talked for hours on the phone and online, we could not get enough of each other until we both thought it would be great if we were together. I then flew a few times after that to WA.In December, I flew to WA were we went to Ocean Shores. Shane got a us a nice hotel. When we got in the room, he got down one knee and gave me a ring and asked me to marry him while putting the ring on my finger! I moved to WA then on Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day. Now we are together, my soul mate and I. I love Shane more then words can ever say, forever and always. Shane is my knight in shining armor, and made all my dreams come true when I fell in love with him.

5/7/08


UNFAIR
Unfair
is when i had given
my best and still
i was left behind.
Unfair
is when i had been
true to her and all i
had were lies and
false promises.
Unfair
is when i choose her
over anybody else
and she chose
another one over me.
Unfair
is when she found
someone new and i
also didi but chose
to love her still.
Unfair
is when someone
comes again but
my heart refuses to see,
for the fear of
getting hurt again...



Unfair sila!!!!
Bakit sila ganun???
Ano ba ang problema nila???


Yan ang madalas kong tinatanong ko sa sarili ko..
Wala na akong ginawang tama sa mata nila...mula sa bahay..sa church..at kahit saan man ako mag punta parang lahat sila umiiwas sa akin....parang lahat ng ginagawa ko ay mali.
Nitong mga nakalipas na araw parang unti unting bumabalik yung sakit na dulot ng mga ginagawa nila sa akin na pag husga. Tulad na lang nung isang youth sa church namin...wala siyang ginawa kundi siraan ako sa girlfriend ko....TAMA BA YUN????????
You see this guy he's been texting my girl saying nasty stuff 'bout me so that my girl can reconsider our relationship. Last April 22nd to the 25th of that month napuno na ang girlfriend ko and decided na mag cool off muna kami WITHOUT any valid reasons....thats when sobrang nagalit ako sa youth namin....BAD TRIP SIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wala syang karapatan para siraan ako sa GF ko. Minsan na nga lang ako maging masaya tatanggalin pa nya yun sa akin...bakit most of them wants me broken?Bakit hindi nila ako bigyan ng chance na patunayan ko sa kanila na kaya ko magbago....

5/4/08


----what's happening to you? You know what? this girl is one of the few persons that I really trust...taga bataan sya...we uused to talk to each other almost everyday but things got pretty dicey and she suddenly stop talking to me...Naguguluhan nga ako sa kanya coz I don't have the slightest idea kung bakit nya ako kailangan iwasan...i tried everything para ma-contact sya but to no avail...I tried texting her,calling her and I even tried writing to her thru snail mail PERO WALA PA RIN SYANG REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss ko na sya....MISS KO NA YUNG DATING JA9....sa lahat ng ayoko yung nang iiwan sa ere....please bring back my angel to me...
I REALLY NEED HER...

---last night nag karoon ako ng chance na maka-usap ko ang isa sa pinaka IMPORTANTENG TAO sa buhay ko...si faye. Grabe! It's been what? 4 months since the last we saw each other and I swear ang laki ng pagbabago nya...i'm not talking bout her physical appearance...it's her attitude that changed drastically...
As usual her life is in a total mess...she's in a relationship right now with a jack ass.I will not mention his name but.... my God!!!!! napaka wala nyang kwenta....lagi nyang tinatrato ang kapatid ko na as if may ginagawa syang masama.Lagi syang walang tiwala sa kapatid ko.
You know what na aawa na ako sa kapatid ko na si faye.I weish I could help[ her but she won't let me in.... I hope someday she would finally meet the right guy for her....yung mamahalin sya at aalagaan sya... Faye please if ever you needed someone para makinig sa mga problems mo...i want you to know that i'm very willing para tulungan ka....i'm still one of your best allies
 


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